The Anniversary
by DARKFOX34
Summary: Jade is broken up about her parent's fate. The guilt is taking over her life and she can't take it anymore. She does something drastic to make the pain stop...


Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

It was supposed to be a fun night out on a date, a night of fun to get away from the stress of work for a day. They were supposed to dance, goof around, and act like teenagers again before returning to their normal lives. Giving them the day off of parenting for their twentieth anniversary seemed like a perfect gift at the time. Now it was too late to apologize; it was too late to beg them to stay, to beg them to refuse the reservations. She wanted them to come home and tell her that the restaurant was terrible; she wanted them to just come home.

It was supposed to be a day of celebration, and thanks to one foolish decision it'd become a day of mourning. She felt stupid, she felt wretched and worthless, lower than dirt for what she'd caused; it was all her fault. Everyone in the West family was sure to hate her guts now; her grandparents were sure to disown her over this. They were never close to begin with, but murder was sure to drive the knife into whatever chance they had left. But she couldn't complain, she didn't deserve to; she was a murderer, a horrible person, a loser, a MONSTER!

The living room stayed the same as it was when they took those fateful steps out of the house, and their lives. The kitchen, dining room, TV-it all remained unmoved as if that would reverse time and bring them back to her. The morning after the call she'd gone to the kitchen and prepared her mom's coffee before going on her way. That same night she'd kissed Jo and Jess goodnight before going to her Dad's study and sitting in his chair. It was the first time she allowed herself to say it out loud, the first time she really admitted it to herself.

And two days later, on the twin's first birthday, Jade signed the card 'Love Mo and Daffy,' their nicknames. It was a wasted effort on her part as the girls screamed bloody murder for their missing parents; she broke.

"_This is all my fault; you're not old enough to understand it now, but I did something horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if you hated me."_

School was a blur; the lectures blended together until everything sounded like an episode of 'Charlie Brown.' Her friends gave her space. Beck had offered his condolences, but it hurt too much to let him into her pain. After all the years of friendship and two and all years of 'dating, 'she couldn't put him through that.

"_Beck…I just can't do it. I'm sorry..."_

He didn't try to stop her.

_I'm sorry, Jade…_

_It wasn't your fault…_

_It's okay o cry over them, Jade; just let it out…_

But she did not cry; she couldn't allow herself to feel anything but disgust and hatred toward herself. Everyone thought it strange of her; she was the first to hear the news, yet not one tear escaped her eyes. Many thought she was hiding her emotions, but her grandparents…they just decided that she didn't care at all.

"_You miserable freak! This is all your fault; the LEAST you could do is cry for the people you murdered!"_

"_Do you even care?"_

"_What is the matter with you?"_

She felt like the world had turned upside-down and she was suddenly hurled into space without a breathing tank. Their reaction to her was expected, yet the pain didn't feel any less real; it was over now, she had no one. The only justification for Jo and Jess not hating her was their age; they were too young to understand things. Once they grew to understand the gravity of her mistakes they were sure to despise the ground Jade walked on. It was a day she dreaded, yet it was a day she knew was coming and there was no stopping it; it was coming,

"_Jadey loves you two, no matter how much you'll soon hate me."_ she'd say every night she put then to bed.

Three months after the accident, Jade had what could only be described as a total meltdown in the library.

She'd been checking out a book for an assignment when a boy from her math class approached with his friends.

"_You're Jade West, right, the girl that killed her Mom and Dad?"_The leader asked. He was a nice looking boy of no older than seventeen. The things that stood out to her about him were his eyes. Huge, gray and sad eyes hidden beneath shaggy blonde bangs stared at her expectantly while his friends waited for an answer. He was tall, much taller than her 5'7'' and bulky. A baseball cap covered the majority of his head. By the look of his clothes he had money and a lot of it.

"_Well?"_

He sounded like her grandfather in his younger years.

"_You killed them, didn't you? How'd you manage that?"_

She screamed. Over and over again until her voice was hoarse and her body struggled to stay upright; she cried. The world was closing in on her like a collapsing tent; she couldn't breathe, she felt the world go dark. It was all so wrong, yet she couldn't escape the truth. She did it. It was all her fault that they were no more.

"_Whoa! Whoa! Jade! Jade, calm down, Jade!" _

Warmth…

Sweet warmth…

"_I got you, Jay. I got you. It's okay."_

"_T-Tori?"_

"_Yes, it's me, jay. What happened back there? Did those idiots try to hurt you?"_

Worry…

Fear…

Tori was worried…for her.

She felt sick.

"_Jade…?"_

Jade ran.

She didn't return that day or the next, or the day after that; she couldn't go back there just to be blamed.

"_But it is your fault!"_

_What was that?_

"_You did kill them; if it weren't for you, they'd still be here! Jo and Jess would still have a family!"_

_Stop it…_

"_I will not. This is your doing. You're at fault!"_

_Stop it!_

"_Disgusting…"_

She wanted it to end; she wanted to be free of the taunts, the judgment and hatred so she could be at peace.

_I have to make this right…_

"_Jade, sweetheart, what are you doing home so early?"_

"_I-I wasn't feeling well, Andy. Thanks for watching the girls for me, will this cover it?"_ she pulled a fifty out of her wallet and slipped the man the bill.

"_Sure thing, feel better."_

_Oh, I will._

She called Cat that afternoon, babbling about how she thought it was good for the girls to get out some more. Cat laughed and accepted the offer to watch after them for the weekend. Phase one was complete. When Cat had come to collect the girls, Jade put on her brave face. She kissed them goodbye and bid Cat a farewell before putting the second phase of her plan into action.

Finding the knife was easy, writing the goodbye note was difficult.

What was she going to say?

'**I'm getting out of your lives for good.'?**

'**I can't take living anymore knowing what I've done'?**

Nothing seemed to explain the reason for what she was about to do. But she had to do it to set things right. With the blade in one hand and pen in the other, Jade scribbled a quick message down before taking a deep breath and plunging the blade deep inside of her chest.

The last thing she saw before blacking out was the image of Tori and Beck screaming for her to wake up.

When she did wake up, she was in agony.

"_I think she's coming to."_

_Beck…?_

"_Thank goodness, quick call a doctor!"_

_Tori…?  
_

Blurry black faded to reveal bright white. Everything hurt. Light, sound…movement.

"_Jade, I need you to stay still for me, okay? That knife did a number on your insides."_

So it wasn't a dream; she was alive. How pathetic was she? Even suicide refused to grand her the mercy of taking her pain away.

Of course not, she didn't deserve mercy.

Jade could hear the voices, she saw them in the room; Beck and Tori watching as she lay motionless in pain. She remembered bits and pieces of the day up until she grabbed the knife though most of the memory consisted of sorrow and uncertainty.

"_Jade…Jade, can you hear me? Open your eyes for us."_

Slowly, reluctantly, storm cloud gray eyes blinked away the last traces of dizziness and looked about the room.

"_What…" her throat was on fire, "are you doing here?"_

Beck handed her a cup of water.

"_You've been here for the past two weeks."_ Beck said.

"_The doctors said that there was a chance you'd wake up any day; we didn't want to risk missing a chance to see you."_

"_Jade…" _Beck said, "I know you probably don't want to talk, but I need to know. What were you thinking when you stabbed yourself?"

Being Jade's "ex-boyfriend," Beck had a natural talent for calming the scissor lover in her moments of fear. She had made it a point to come to him in her moments of need, except for her deepest troubles. Those were reserved for Cat. He'd always assumed that Jade felt more comfortable with another girl on some topics. But when he'd watched Jade's lifeless body being loaded into the ambulance he realized that Cat hadn't even _known_ a powerful fear had taken refuge in his heart.

"_Why didn't you talk to Cat? Or Tori? She is your girlfriend, isn't she? Why didn't you talk to ME? Why didn't you talk to SOMEONE?"_

"_Beck, calm down…this isn't helping."_Tori sighed. _"Are you okay, Jade? Are you in pain?"_

She felt like crap; as if ruining her family's life wasn't enough, she'd made Tori and Beck suffer.

"_I'm…sorry."_

"_It's alright, Jade. Don't worry, just concentrate on getting well. Cat should be here in a little bit."_ Tori said.

Cat?

CAT?

_Cat must hate me…_

But there was no hatred in Cat's eyes; the second she stepped into the room she was at Jade's bedside, crying over her, crying FOR her.

"_Why…why, Jade?"_

That's all she said. All she wanted to know was why. Why had Jade tried to do something so drastic? Why hadn't Jade come to talk to her and try to work it out?

"_Kitty…"_

"_Jadey…I could've helped you. I am your friend, aren't I?"_

Guilt…

Shame…

Pain…

"_Cat, I am so, so sorry. I didn't think about you or anything else. God, I'm so STUPID!"_

"_No…you were in pain and confused. You're not stupid."_ Tori said firmly. _"I can somewhat understand why you did this, Jade. I mean, your note was…pretty telling."_

"_It wasn't your fault." _Cat said.

"_No one blames you."_Beck said.

"_You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live."_Tori said.

After the other two had left for the night, Tori stay awake with Jade in her bed, stroking Jade's hair softly. There were no words exchanged between the two; they didn't need words, they had each other.

"_I only wanted to give them a fun gift for their anniversary."_

"_What?" _Tori asked.

"_My parents, I only wanted them to have a fun night out without worrying about this or that. That's all. I was trying to do some good. And look how that turned out."_

"_Jay, Jay, Jay…you could've known that some idiot on their phone would be on the road that night. You didn't know that those girls were too busy texting to watch the road." _Tori kissed Jade's forehead.

"_Pretty words, Tori, but I sent them out that night." _ Jade said.

"_Did you want them to die?"_

"_What? NO!"_

"_Did you love them?"_

"_Of course, I did. They were my parents!"_

"_Then you're not a horrible person." Tori said. "Like you said, you wanted to do some good. You were being a good daughter. It wasn't your fault and you should never feel like it was."_

"_Tori…"_

"_I love you, Jade. And I know Cat, Beck, André, Robbie, Jo and Jess love you, too. Hell, Trina likes you. TRINA!"_

"_She does?"_

"_Yup, she told me so herself. I called home to tell everyone why I was going to be late for dinner and Trina nearly had a heart attack. She kept screaming at me to see if you were okay. And then she said that if you died…if you died she'd follow you to the afterlife to yell at you for scaring her half to death!"_

"_Wow…"_

"_Yup."_ Tori said. _"You are loved. My family adores you. Cat and Beck treat you like a sister. And you parents love you. I can't speak for them, but I doubt if they blame you for giving them a vacation from being parents, however short it may have been."_

As if to confirm Tori's statement, an image of her parents, alive and well, appeared behind her lids. They were happy, smiling from ear to ear at her. There wasn't a shred of animosity or hatred. Her father reached out to her, stroking her cheek. He kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear,

"_Don't let this one go, Jade. She knows you and that is the greatest gift you can ever get from a lover."_

"_He's right, Jadelyn." _Her mother added. _"Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go, but Tori is so much more than that. You two aren't only lovers, you're best friends."_

"_And soon, she'll be your wife, if you ever get up the nerve to put a freakin 'ring on it!"_

"_Yeah, come on, you're both in college! Tick Tock. I want some grandkids that you can tell stories to about how hot I was."_

"_Jill, I don't think it's possible with these two. I mean, two girls, no…boy juice." Her father said awkwardly._

"_They can adopt!"_

"_Lord, help me."_

"_Goodbye…"_Jillian said.

"_See you later, we love you."_

And when Jade opened her eyes, a feeling of peace took over her body.

"_My parents…are insane."_

"_What?"_

"_Oh," _Jade smirked, _"they were just telling me to get a move on and put a ring on it so we can have kids and tell them about their hot dead grandma."_

"_Yeah, that sounds like Jillian."_ Tori mused.

"_Yup…goodnight…Mrs. West."_

"_Mrs. West? I like the sound of that. What's the occasion?"_ Tori asked.

"_I just thought that since that'll be your name in a few years you might as well get used to it now."_

"_Your parents were serious, huh?"_ Tori smiled. "_I love you."_

"_I love you, too."_

And somewhere above, Mr. and Mrs. West smiled at the pair. Well, Mrs. West smiled while Mr. West shook his head at his wife's cooing and tried (futilely) to lead her away from the sleeping teens.

"_Come on, Jill, leave them be!"_

"_But they're adorable! Look at them, Keith! Awww! Jade just wrapped an arm around Tori."_

"_Yes, yes, it's the cutest thing in the world. Let's go!"_

Jillian rolled her eyes._ "Men…"_

Keith rolled his eyes as he followed behind his wife, _"Women…"_

Jade smiled.

Her parents were definitely insane.


End file.
